The Great Unmade: Godzilla 2

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In the news this week there was a report about a a 50-metre-long lump of rock hurtling ominously through space towards Earth. This vast lump of rock could spell the end for every living creature on the planet. Thankfully scientists have now reassured us all that the rock will miss by a good 17,100 miles. The world breathed a sigh of relief in tandem. This was a let off. Another chance for us to repent. There should be street parties and global ticker-tape parades. Certainly there has not been a case of “phew! That was close” this mighty since it was confirmed that the intended  sequel to the 1998 version of Godzilla was to be abandoned. What a happy day that was.

If one were a French insurance operative standing shoulder to shoulder with some US army officers assessing the massive pile of rubble/shite left after the devastating assault on Japanese culture, film making in general and acting, that was the 1998 version of Godzilla, the only thing I could do was pat them all on the back and say, “Cheer up, there will never be another“. Only I would have been lying. As behind the scenes the intention was always for Godzilla to be the first in a trilogy. Imagine that? A prospect as welcome as a door-to-door sex offender.

Admittedly before the film came out, this would have sounded like a good prospect. The marketing campaign for Godzilla was smart and tongue in cheek. The “size matters” banners and the excellent teaser trailer poking fun at Jurassic Park certainly whet the appetite.

You could actually argue that this teaser trailer was actually better than the finished article. If you did make that argument, NO ONE would disagree with you. So let’s do that, eh?

So in 1998 Godzilla comes out and arrives in, what I like to call, the “summer of shit” that was 1998. Godzilla, Lost in Space and The Avengers. All were mauled by the critics and all were utter shit. Though to be fair, The Avengers scores points for having Sean Connery dressed as a teddy bear.

The proposed Godzilla trilogy fell into “development hell” – which means that no fucker wanted to touch it with a shitty-stick, and the world tried to forget what happened there.

The Japanese had this to say about it:

Only behind the scenes, Emmerich and Devlin were still beavering (like only a couple of beavers can) away on making their dream come true. A trilogy of  Godzilla films that would eventually lead to everyone never wanting to see a film again.

While Godzilla 3 never had a second of work done on it, Godzilla 2 did get as far as a treatment. The script treatment was written on October 19, 1999 by Tab Murphy, the writer of the Disney-films “Tarzan” and “Atlantis: The Lost Empire” (safe hands…). Needless to say nothing happened with it, and I am sure that the big suits at Sony were fucking over the moon when their rights expired in 2003.

However, let’s explore what could have been. Let’s for a moment pretend that we are sat in the cinema right now. Crying into our popcorn, counting out our suicide pills, crying over a picture of our wives, and getting ready to watch Godzilla 2.

Below is the treatment, but with some notes included from me:

With Godzilla laying dead on a bridge and New York saved from further destruction from the US Army (not Godzilla – he/she does fuck all to smash the place up – apart from one man-hole cover). A clean-up operation is underway and Godzilla is removed (catapult?). Nick Tatopoulos (Matthew Broderick’s amazingly tedious hero) is invited to a warehouse where scientists from all over the world are examining Godzilla’s dissected body parts (I bet they messed with it). The scientists’ excitement is lost on Nick who feels increasingly distraught over the part he played in helping to destroy such a unique and intelligent lifeform (never mind the hundreds of baby ones he helped blow up).

He’s haunted by memories of the final look in Godzilla’s eyes just before it expired (boredom?). And when he witnesses half a dozen scientists crawling over one of those extracted dead eyeballs (what? why?)  it’s more than he can handle. He makes a quick and brusque exit after turning down an opportunity to head up the research project (now he knows how we all felt at the end of the first one – particularly the Japanese).

Tortured by guilt, Nick sneaks past police barricades into the Manhattan underground to begin a search of his own (prostitutes?), hoping against hope to discover some remnant of the now extinct species (oh). His hopes are rewarded when he discovers one last BabyZilla, trapped under some rubble and near death (of course). Nick is able to free the BabyZilla (good for him), while avoiding its jaws and claws (and its dinosaurs). Although physically unhurt, the BabyZilla is weak from starvation and will die if something isn’t done (feed me Seymour).

Mummy? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Mummy? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Later, the butcher at a local fish market watches in astonishment as Nick buys every last piece from his display case (hilarious). Back in the devastated subway tunnel, Nick feeds the BabyZilla (could have saved money here and fed him tramps and dead dogs – no one will miss them) and begins a relationship of trust and mutual respect (he had sex with it didn’t he…) that will resonate throughout the rest of the film (yep). Voices suddenly echo from down the tunnel. A dozen flashlight beams sign an approaching squad of soldiers. Nick realizes the BabyZilla will be shot on sight if found by the soldiers (and the video of him having sex with it with finish his career). Using the remaining fish as bait, Nick lures the BabyZilla away (and the promise of seeing some puppies). The pair manage to reach the surface without being detected (obviously). In the meantime, the BabyZilla has come to believe Nick is its mother (For fuck’s sake), following him everywhere like a lovesick puppy (that’s what you get when you go grooming).

When another squad of soldiers approaches, Nick shrouds the BabyZilla in a long overcoat and shepherds it down to the waterfront (Ninja Turtle disguise??). At one point a bum accosts the pair (EAT HIM), unwittingly begging for spare change from the BabyZilla. The bum’s bloodshot eyes bulge when his extended hand is snapped at by the BabyZilla (EAT HIM) The bum’s terrified screams bring the soldiers running (Should have eaten him. I said so earlier). Realising they’re about to be discovered, Nick tries to get the BabyZilla to enter the water and strike off on its own (“I promise I’ll phone you”). At first, it refuses to leave its ‘mother’ (Ahem). Nick is forced to use ‘tough love’ (again? Nick. We’re kind of in a hurry here). He pushes the baby away, screams in anger, even throws rocks at it. Heartbroken, the BabyZilla finally slips into the cold water and swims off into the murky depths with mixed emotions (MEN SUCK)…

AWKWARD....

AWKWARD….

ROLL MAIN TITLE

G O D Z I L L A  2 (:HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN)

Two years later…

A series of strange and inexplicable events have begun occurring around the world (This sequel was funded for a start). A cruise ship is found adrift off Australia with nary a soul on board (a game of hide and seek that has gone tragically wrong) . The entire population of a village on Fiji has literally vanished without a trace (they heard the film was coming), the village itself destroyed. An Indonesian jumbo jet is sliced in half at thirty eight thousand feet (50% off all flights to Indonesia). At the crash site, no bodies are found (you mean “no body was found” – ha. Idiots). A Global Task Force (G.T.F.) is formed to investigate, headed by none other than General Hicks (none other).

A strange giant egg is discovered in a downtown park of a medium-sized town (not the big town in New England) in New England (GIANT CHICKENS!?). When word reaches Hicks of the discovery, he sends in a task force to investigate (G.T.F.). The investigators reach the town only to discover it destroyed and its inhabitants vanished without a trace (see the comment about the Fiji village). In the center of town, remnants of the hatched eggs are found. The investigators conclude that somehow, some way, a Godzilla is responsible (obviously – not a giant chicken, then). The nightmare has begun again (you are so right). General Hicks immediately puts out an APB on Godzilla expert Nick Tatopoulos (try the radioactive-reptile sex-offenders register).

We like each other

“We like each other” “Yes”

Wedding bells chime outside a small church in Vermont. Nick and Audrey (Maria Pitillo) have finally tied the knot (despite having no chemistry in the first film and basically being HORRIBLE). We see that Nick is more or less resigned to his fate (he misses that lizard). The pair make their way to a waiting limo, showered by handfuls of rice (ricin). Nick climbs inside the limo (not a euphemism). When Audrey turns to wave at the crowd one last time (literally no one is there), the door to the limo suddenly closes and all the doors lock, trapping Nick inside (now use the ricin!) The limo speeds away from the stunned crowd and Nick’s equally stunned bride! (Note: this is the first and last we see of Audrey – YES – film getting better…). When Nick shouts for an explanation, the driver turns out to be the Frenchman Philippe Roaché (Jean Reno) He apologizes for the abrupt departure, hands Nick a classified folder detailing the strange events occurring around the world (like dogging and One Direction being a thing). He reveals that he’s working for General Hicks and the Global Task Force (G.T.F.) who are convinced that Godzilla is responsible (…for the death of modern cinema?). Nick insists that even if Godzilla had survived, it couldn’t possibly be responsible for the weird events occurring around the world (because he’s dead and he saw people climbing on his dead eyeballs for no reason). There are too many inconsistencies (ahem). But Phillipe is determined to find out one way or another. And should a Godzilla prove to be alive – “It must be destroyed once and for all.” Phillipe stops the car and turns to Nick (a bit over dramatic here). “I need your help.” Nick finally agrees to help Phillipe in his search – but for very different reasons (he needs money).

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“It must be destroyed once and for all” “Yes. Let’s not make this film”

Restricting their search to the Southern Hemisphere because of climate, ocean currents and the relative proximity of the unexplainable events (and it’s nice there). Nick and Phillipe determine that the only land mass big enough to support a creature of Godzilla’s size without fear of detection is Australia. That is where they target their search. Deep in the Australian Outback, Nick and Phillipe cross paths with a beautiful and rugged no-nonsense female biologist called Anna Charlton who claims to be doing research on Dingoes (lying cow). She asks what they’re doing in the middle of nowhere. Phillipe nods toward Nick: “He’s on his honeymoon.” (hilarious) Anna takes an immediate dislike to the pair (ahem), especially Nick (ahem). Her answers to their questions are curt and brusque. No, she’s not seen nor heard anything strange or unusual. She asks them to leave and not disturb her research area. Before they depart, Phillipe slips a tracking device into the back of her jeep (not for science, he is just a colossal pervert). Both Nick and Phillipe are convinced she’s hiding something (if you know what I mean).

Later, they trail her jeep further into the rugged Outback where they lose her (useless twats), when their own vehicle breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, arguing, they both suddenly hear a familiar bone chilling ROAR. Grabbing their gear, they race up a nearby bluff and come face to face with – GODZILLA, now fully grown. Hiding in the bushes to avoid detection (from a giant lizard), Nick and Phillipe are even more stunned to discover Godzilla is not alone – the creature has given birth to a brood of young TeenZillas (paternity check from Broderick due now), each nearly three stories high (again, hiding in bushes). As Godzilla and its brood stomp into full view, a pack of Dingoes suddenly attack a straggler we will come to know as the RUNT (sure?) of the litter. Smaller and weaker than the others, the Runt cries out for help (pu**y) as the Dingoes swarm. Godzilla ROARS! The rest of its young spook. While Godzilla defends the Runt from the hungry pack, Nick and Phillipe find themselves directly in the path of a Godzilla Stampede (in a bush). Just when we think they’re dead meat, a jeep pulls up and Anna screams for them to “GET IN!!” What follows is a hair-raising rollercoaster ride with Anna swerving inbetween the giant tree trunk legs of the stampeding TeenZillas (sounds like a hair-flattening rip off of The Lost World and can only be shit), miraculously avoiding getting squashed, while Nick and Phillipe cling to their seats for dear life (in direct opposition with the audience). Eventually, Anna is able to swerve out of harm’s way just as Godzilla comes on the scene carrying the Runt on its tail (oh fuck). As calm returns and Godzilla and its brood continues to forage, Anna turns to the astonished Nick and Phillipe: “Okay, so maybe I have seen something a little unusual.” (Yes, The Lost World a few times by the sounds of it).

ACT II

Phillipe makes for the radio in Anna’s jeep in an attempt to contact General Hicks (or call his agent). Nick pleads with him to wait. They argue. A shot suddenly rings out! The radio shatters. Phillipe and Nick turn to find Anna holding a gun on the pair. Anna reveals that she stumbled upon Godzilla over a year ago (stumbled upon a giant lizard…) and has since dedicated herself to studying and protecting the creature with an almost militant determination (sounds a lot like she stumbled upon a copy of The Lost World again…). She remains hostile towards the pair (you would), especially Nick (I like her). Nick tries to convince her that as a fellow scientist, he wants to help preserve the species not destroy it (he is also a sex offender). He tells Anna he’s come to prove that Godzilla and its brood are not responsible for the marauding attacks in the vicinity. But Anna refuses to believe him (you wouldn’t . She recognizes Nick as the person responsible for the first Godzilla’s death (he was – directly). Nick has no choice but to come clean. He finally reveals the secret he’s kept from Phillipe, that he rescued a BabyZilla in New York two years before and helped it escape (ahem) – the same full grown Godzilla that is now running loose with a brood of its own! Phillipe is speechless (as are we – still). He can’t believe that Nick would allow one of the creatures to survive, especially knowing how rapidly they multiply (especially if you feed them after midnight). Phillipe is determined to carry out his threat of alerting General Hicks. Nick suddenly ducks behind the wheel of Anna’s jeep and roars away (oh – they mean drives away. For a moment there I pictured him sitting behind a wheel and making roaring noises – a move that wouldn’t hurt this film).

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“I stumbled across this”

Realising he has to do something drastic in order to win Anna’s trust and prove to Phillipe that Godzilla is essentially harmless, Nick swerves the vehicle and drives straight for the towering fifty story creature. Phillipe and Anna watch in horror as Nick drives right up to Godzilla! A ROAR from Godzilla shatters every window in the jeep (why?). Nick hops out and stands before the giant behemoth! Godzilla raises a foot, ready flatten Nick like a pancake when it suddenly stops short. Something about this particular human is familiar. In a touching scene, Godzilla recognizes its ‘mother’ and nuzzles Nick affectionately (awkward), much to the utter astonishment of Phillipe and Anna! Nick turns yells to the pair- “You see? He’s really very gentle!” At that moment, Godzilla delivers a ‘welcome home’ ROAR that knocks Nick off his feet (how many of you would have left by now?).

Sydney, Australia. Another giant egg larva is discovered on the outskirts of the city. General Hicks mobilizes his troops (G.T.F.) and heads Down Under. Another disturbing message arrives (Godzilla 3 MAY still happen). There’s been no word from Phillipe or Nick for some time (lucky). They seem to have vanished without a trace (see comment about Fiji village).

In the Outback, Nick has a new problem: Godzilla follows him everywhere (I’ve got 99 problems and Godzilla aint one). And wherever Godzilla goes, its babies are sure to follow (hilarious). This makes for some amusing situations (no it doesn’t) , especially when Godzilla insists on sleeping beside Nick (Stop it! you’re killing me) Having won Anna’s trust, Nick invites her to study the ‘Zillas up close and personal (not again). She shares some of her findings with Nick, including the fact that a full-grown Godzilla is capable of reproducing only once (so listen very carefully), and that the size of the brood is determined by carrying capacity of the land. Nick wrestles with his blossoming attraction for Anna (he’s JUST got married). After all, technically he’s a married man (Nick’s attempts at contacting his new wife and explaining his whereabouts are continually met with her screaming at him and hanging up – BITCH). During this period, Nick tries to convince Phillipe that Godzilla is docile and nonagressive creature that attacks only when its young are threatened. All three are amazed at the tenderness Godzilla shows its young (patronising), especially to the Runt (Nick?). Nick and Anna are certain they’re witnessing the birth of a new natural order (No they’re not), that Godzilla is the next step in an evolutionary process accelerated by the nuclear testing fallout (not he isn’t). Phillipe is beginning to come around (he’s been knocked out with boredom), to believe that perhaps there is a place in the world for Godzilla after all (not for Godzilla 2, though).

But when Godzilla suddenly steals away one night leaving its sleeping brood, Phillipe once again becomes suspicious (he’s got a fancy woman). The three follow Godzilla in Anna’s jeep some twenty miles to the deserted North Coast where they watch the giant creature disappear into the ocean (He’s BATMAN!). Nick is heartsick (WHAT!?). Is it possible Godzilla has been making the various raids in order to feed its brood? Are the ‘Zillas being fed a steady diet of human captives? If so, then there would be no choice left but to destroy them. Suddenly, the ocean is lit up from beneath by bizarre flashes of lights (this is actually the first clue we have that Godzilla can breathe fire). Schools of tuna swarm to the surface (According to Michael Douglas this causes cancer).

Godzilla explodes out of the water, forcing hundreds upon hundreds of the fish onto the beach! Nick, Anna, and Phillipe watch the amazing spectacle as Godzilla continues to herd schools of tuna onto the beach (I feel this simple act is being treated as a huge set piece). As dawn approaches, another incredible sight greets them – Godzilla’s brood appears on the horizon! Descending on the beach, the hungry ‘Zillas begin gorging on the stranded fish! Nick now has the proof he’s come after. Even Phillipe has to admit he was wrong, that Godzilla is not responsible for the other attacks (this is proof is it? Even murderers go shopping). But if not Godzilla, then who? Or better yet, what? (Or better yet – WHO FUCKING CARES!?) In order to answer than question, the trio decide to take a little trip (acid?).

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Monster Island. Godzilla’s birthplace (obviously). Following Godzilla’s death, a clean sweep of the island produced no other biological anomalies (REALLY?). For two years the island has been off limits to visitors, its water heavily patrolled by U.N. warships. Approaching the island Nick, Anna, and Phillipe don wet suits and scuba gear in an effort to slip past the blockade (nice job, U.N.). Swimming toward the island, the three are suddenly engulfed by a giant shadow and are stunned to witness a blue whale three times its normal size glide silently past (and swim as fast as it can away from this shitbox).

On the island itself, more strange discoveries await – a plethora of new species, some mutated beyond recognition. Even so, there’s nothing on the island that seems capable of kind of destruction being reported around the world (really!? – how about that giant whale? Did you check that it can’t walk?). Suddenly, the skies above them darken. A strange buzzing sound fills the air (MUTATED DILDOS!?). What seems to be an approaching dark cloud turns out to be a huge swarm of mutated winged insects equipped with vicious mandibles and deadly wasp like stingers! The Buick-sized insects appear to be carrying something wrapped in their six spiny legs. Nick, Anna, and Phillipe watch in horror as the insectoids land and release their human captives (Sony execs).

When one man tried to escape he is immediately set upon and stung to death! Meanwhile, wingless termite-like insects swarm out of an underground next and herd the human captives underground. Nick, Phillipe, and Anna prepare to follow. Suddenly, HORRIBLE SCREAMS emanate from the entrance to the underground nest! One by one they die out until an eerie silence is all that remains. And just when things can’t get any worse, the QUEEN BITCH (harsh?) emerges from the opening; a HUGE and ferocious-looking winged insectoid that the other insects flock around, tending to her every need. She is one nasty bug. As Nick, Anna, and Philippe look on, the Queen takes flight and disappears out over the ocean, heading for God-knows-where. A horrible realisation sinks in (WE ARE IN THIS FILM). People are being abducted from around the world and brought to Monster Island (obviously) to be used as food by these horrible insectoids. Nick and Anna conclude that Godzilla and its brood are the natural predators of these bugs (what kind of science is this?). But because of man’s interference, the natural food chain (?) on Monster Island has been disrupted (what about that whale?). With no controls through natural predation (aka Godzilla), these insectoids will continue to multiply and spread, threatening the entire world! Somehow, Godzilla and its brood must be led back to Monster Island in order to bring the insectoids under control and reestablish order and harmony in the food chain (where are the army?).

MothraLeo-EternalMothra

She’s so swishy in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
and bipperty-bopperty hat
Oh God, I could do better than that

Phillipe suddenly becomes extremely agitated (aroused?), insisting they return to the Outback at once. Nick and Anna are perplexed by their friend’s strange behaviour  Phillipe tells them that Godzilla and its brood are in grave danger. The truth finally comes out. Philippe has tipped of General Hicks and the Global Task Force (G.T.F.) as to Godzilla’s whereabouts (arsehole). Nick and Anna are stunned! Why would he do such a thing?? Phillipe reveals he was frightened by the number of ‘Zillas they encountered (and he didn’t want that third film to happen). Ironically, he had nightmarish visions of Godzillas taking over the world which is what prompted his actions. Nick feels betrayed. He and Phillipe fight (sounds like an awesome fight. Ferris Bueller vs. Leon). Anna breaks it up. She tells them to settle it later. Time may be running out for Godzilla…and the world.

But they’re too late (anti climax)…Nick, Anna, and Philippe return to a scene of agonising devastation. ‘Zillas lie dead everywhere! The countryside is rutted and pockmarked from explosions (Throws Godzilla 3 script in bin). The surprise attack by the Global Task Force  (G.T.F.) has come from ground and air. General Hicks and his troops are advancing on Godzilla and one last baby (the Runt) when Nick, Anna, and Philippe arrive on the scene. Nick races past the troops and missile launchers out toward Godzilla and the Runt, causing Hicks to call a cease-fire. Nick looks around at the carnage, at the valiant fight Godzilla put up to save its babies. With tears in his eyes, Nick turns helplessly to Godzilla: “I’m sorry…” The look in Godzilla’s eyes is one of heartbreak and betrayal. It ROARS in anguish before suddenly burrowing underground and escaping with the Runt. Nick stands alone amidst the devastation, feeling sick… (echoing our feeling perfectly). Meanwhile, Phillipe is congratulated by General Hicks (and the auidence). But Phillipe tells the General they’ve made a terrible mistake. By killing the ‘Zillas, they may have just doomed the rest of the world. Before General Hicks can respond, he receives a message from Sydney: something bizarre is occurring to the giant egg larva (it’s dancing with Ted Danson).

ACT III

Near downtown Sydney, a huge greenhouse-like enclosure has been built around the larval egg (obviously – we put giant lizards in warehouses, but giant eggs in huge-greenhouses), giving scientists an opportunity to study the strange phenomenon in a controlled environment. Tanks and missile launchers surround the enclosure as a protective measure against whatever might hatch from the egg. The surrounding downtown area has been evacuated. Nick realizes egg was laid by the Queen (Brian May? Elton John?) and is the first step in what will eventually lead to a worldwide spread of the deadly insectoids. He pleads with General Hicks to destroy it. While the pair argue, the Queen Bitch makes a sudden appearance, intent on protecting her egg! She quickly lays waste to Hick’s troops garrison! While Nick, Anna, and Phillipe run for cover, a familiar figure suddenly bursts up through the pavement – GODZILLA! (YES!) And there, hanging onto Godzilla’s tail, the Runt! (NO!!?) Godzilla goes up against the Queen Bitch in a spectacular pitched battle throughout downtown Sydney (I doubt it). At one point, Godzilla takes a nasty sting in the throat that temporarily paralyses it. The Runt goes to help but it immediately set upon by the vicious Queen! Without hesitation, Anna races forward to aid the Runt (HOW?). But the Queen succeeds in killing the baby and grabbing up Anna, much to Nick’s horror! Godzilla comes to and see its dead baby. It roars in anguish before turning on the Queen’s egg larva and torching it with a burst of atomic fire breath!! Wow… The Queen Bitch screams in rage and takes wing, Anna struggling in its spiny clutches! Nick, Phillipe, and Hicks watch as Godzilla dives into the ocean, head for Monster Island and a final showdown with the Queen Bitch…(DON’T BOTHER – NUKE THE ISLAND).

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Nick and Phillipe put aside their differences in order to go after Anna. General Hicks organizes a military rescue, led by a squadron of jet fighters. He jumps into an Apache chopper together with Nick and Phillipe. As the chopper lifts off, Hicks remembers to give Nick a note he’s been carrying. Nick reads it and his face drops even further. “Bad news?” Asks Phillipe. “I’m not sure,” Nick responds, handing Phillipe the note. His marriage has been annulled (GOOD NEWS).

On approach to Monster Island, they are attacked by a swarm of the mutated insectoids (where is that whale when you need it? Lazy fuck). A spectacular battle in the sky follows as the jet fighters take on the insects (again, I doubt it). But the insect numbers prove to be overpowering. The battle ends with every jet down and the Apache chopper crash landing on the island just as Godzilla wades ashore to take up the attack! Nick, Phillipe and Hicks scramble from the wreckage of the downed chopper as all hell breaks loose! Godzilla is under assault from the flying insectoids above and the wingless termite-like bugs on the ground! Bursts of atomic fire breath incinerate everything within range! While Hicks awaits reinforcements, Nick and Phillipe make their way into the maze of deserted underground passageways in search of Anna. The pair stumble upon an enormous underground chamber where hundreds of half-starved human prisoners are being guarded by a handful of wingless insectoids. Using incinerator grenades, Nick and Phillipe manage to kill the insect guards. Nick and Anna embrace in an emotional reunion (Marriage JUST annulled).

Phillipe, Nick, and Anna begin to lead the others topside when the Queen Bitch suddenly appears, blocking their way and trapping them inside the underground chamber! The Queen Bitch advances and is about to devour Nick for lunch (or dinner depending on the time) when Godzilla suddenly burrows through the cavern wall! Godzilla and the Queen Bitch square off for one final Giant Monster Battle!

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Nick, Anna, and Phillipe lead the captive people topside as the fight progresses above ground! This time, Godzilla is the victor, vanquishing the Queen Bitch and bring natural order back to the Monster Island ecosystem (what??). General Hicks’ reinforcement suddenly arrive. They line up their big guns to take out Godzilla once and for all. Godzilla is all but defenseless, spent and exhausted from his battle with the Queen Bitch. Nick, Anna are so enraged that Hicks order them put under protective custody. All appears lost. Believing he’s doing the right thing for humanity, General Hicks is about to give the order to fire when an extraordinary thing occurs – the hundreds of (starving) people that have been set free form a protective circle around Godzilla (oh fuck no. It’s Spider-Man all over again). And there leading the blockade is none other Phillipe! And in that moment, General Hicks realizes pulling the trigger on Godzilla would be the wrong thing to do (DROP THE NUKE LATER). He orders his troops to withdraw. LOUD CHEERS go up from the people that Godzilla helped set free! Suddenly, a new sound reaches everyone’s ears. Just then, another Godzilla wades onto the shores of Monster Island, calling for its mother! The Runt wasn’t killed after all! The sight of its baby revives Godzilla and the pair have a touching reunion (I doubt it).

Later, against a brilliant sunset, Nick, Anna, and Phillipe say goodbye to Godzilla and the Runt as the pair return to the ocean (I bet that whale shows up now. Lazy fuck).

THE END

And there you have it. That would have been Godzilla 2.

THANK FUCK IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

Originally posted 2013-06-04 21:49:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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